We knew the summer solstice wouldn’t pass without the appearance of a pseudo-circle at an unnamed location photographed by the thoroughly ridiculous and implicit Mark ‘Billy’ Breen who just happened to be in the right place at the right time. It was later revealed to be one of the maker’s favourite places: Kingweston near Somerton in Somerset. He probably drives past there every day on the way to work.

For what it’s worth, the hoax has echoes of the wonderfully made Grovely Wood formation given it contains motifs resembling eyes. However, that’s where the comparisons end. The hoax is as rough as sandpaper. We originally thought the field may have played its part, but no. There are some serious sections of wonk: the four off-kilter eggs, the misaligned and malformed semi-circles, the crooked lines supposed to be straight (the end of one doesn’t meet up at all with the rest of the line) and the nodules around the edge that aren’t in alignment. The maker has only been doing this for seventeen years now and is apparently employed as a ‘quality controller’. We know.

Whilst studying this hoax a thought crossed our minds as to what it resembles, and then, as if by some psychic connection, someone else took our thoughts and put them into words…

As would have been written within Crop Circle Wisdom: Now the amateurs are having a go!

The Salisbury Journal reports on the Grovely Wood farmer who recently hosted the ‘three eyes’ crop circle and subsequently mowed it out.

According to journalist Frankie Crew, ‘The landowner said that thousands of pounds had been invested to “feed people across the country”, and that the damage would cost hundreds of pounds.’

So, let’s get this straight. A small, flattened area in a large field in a field of numerous large fields, in a county of large fields, in a country of large fields, is affecting how people are being fed across the nation? Sure. Being extremely generous to the farmer, it’s 30mx30m of flattened crop, which is 900m2. As of this morning, at wholesale prices, that grain is worth (at least according to Google Gemini, using prices listed in Farmers Weekly) somewhere between £120 and £150. Hardly ‘hundreds’ and that’s assuming none of the harvested crop from the circle can be utilised.

Just watch the cost of your daily loaf rise drastically.

Finally, would a crop circle season be without a hilariously over-the-top rant from ludicrously angry Team Ten Watt agent Hamish Jacobs?

Someone suggested the Grovely Wood farmer should be ‘punished’ for cutting out the circle on his land.

Enter Haymush…

Wow.