What A Crock of $*&#%!
It seems our recent article on Andrew Pyrka, ‘Mike Farrow’ and the Canvas Of Gold website has touched a very raw nerve. We knew it would and we weren’t disappointed.
Just to remind you, Pyrka was a rather vociferous ‘researcher’ who ran the bizarre Crop Circle Wisdom website alongside various unpleasant Facebook groups. At the frantic end of his time as a major figure on the scene, Pyrka handed control of his website over to one ‘Mike Farrow’, a character who miraculously wrote just like Pyrka and held the same grudges as him too.
We called out ‘Farrow’ for his needless return, naming of people who had long moved on and his latest attempts to settle Pyrka’s old scores. It was as if someone had found a diary from 2015 and was presenting it as the very latest gossip. And didn’t we know our little prod was going to earn a reaction. Up the hill the all-American looking ‘Mike’ sprinted, panting in his AI generated jeans and Stars and Stripes bearing jacket, water pistol in hand to defend the honour of himself…his friend? Both? We’re still not sure, but he responded by squirting his not-so super soaker at one particular person he has an issue with.
You’re telling me this Mike Farrow guy isn’t AI?
His point is essentially one of hyperbolic, unevidenced tittle tattle which can easily be condensed: the person ‘Mike’ hates so much is apparently an active circle maker. This person was allegedly out in the fields in 2025 you know. He apparently wears a head torch (why?) and was linked by ‘Mike’ to some long forgotten crop circle we don’t remember.
This circle-making beast of Revelation is such a vile wretch that he is the ‘one and only outcast’. And what could be worse than being described in this classic example of Pyrkaese hyperbole? Only being called the most hated circle maker across numerous counties, including, weirdly enough, Berkshire. (We do have to wonder who is hated more in the unmentioned counties of Shropshire and Norfolk. The late Doug Bower?)
So despised and evil is this demon that he is in his underground lair, eating human foetuses, setting fire to sacks of the cutest puppies imaginable, and probably laughing wickedly at the very suggestion he cares how randoms perceive him, never mind the assortment of criminals, alcoholics, illegal drug users, simpletons and bando dwellers that make up most of the nation’s circle making fraternity. Really, why would he give a hoot what they think? Would you care if some Tennents Extra tinny-clutching roadman got up from a bench and started shouting incoherently at you in a pedestrianised shopping area? We’re on that level here.
Whatever, we guess this evil man must now be pilloried because what he allegedly did was illegal…illegal…illegal! Damn it, we agree. Burn him.
Given the high reputation of the accuser, we are thoroughly delighted that the awful circle maker in question is deservedly being shamed. Not, of course, that Saint Andrew, whom ‘Mike’ is so eager to defend, would ever have done anything illegal in the same vein as making a crop circle. Not that he would associate (and maybe even make crop circles on Chinese television) with people who are convicted criminals, who have illegally made crop circles in 2025 and who have openly admitted to making specific formations. The same souls who have posted crop circle designs online before heading out to make them illegally. Even Mike might be a bit naughty. We wonder if he’s been illegally stealing photos that are probably 15 years old and illegally reproducing them in his piece. He’s even been praising people who illegally make crop circles on his own website, describing one as a ‘master’.
Now, why would ‘Mike’ fail to understand he has been displaying hilariously transparent double standards? Well, intelligence has never been his greatest asset. Here, son, let us push your AI halo back up onto the top of your head, you silly little sausage.
