There have been a lot of tears shed over the recent crop circle at Weir Farm, underneath Hackpen Hill. It was ‘fantastic … thoroughly beautiful’ until it was revealed it had been commissioned for a television show featuring celebrity Bradley Walsh, due to be broadcast by Sky History at the end of the year. Then, the circle became a ‘dismal mess’.

Photograph by Crop Circle Explorer

This was no surprise, as this is what happens within the cerealogical world. However, even then, not everyone was toeing the same line. Meanwhile, in Somerset, you could see the veins in someone’s forehead:

News that the circle had been commissioned originally came through Monique Klinkenbergh of the Crop Circle Visitor Centre and Exhibition via her social media accounts. Whilst it would have been more interesting if she’d maintained her silence, we think she felt a bit of responsibility to James Hussey at Weir Farm and didn’t want to see his field full of visitors. Not only did the tourists still come, but people began to ask questions.

Croppie J Paul DeVierville (yes, him of ‘I’m an artist, professor’ infamy) was among the first to throw some questions around:

Now, why would Monique Klinkenbergh have any idea how much the circle makers were paid? She wouldn’t. Nobody has stepped forward to publicly take responsibility.

We imagine any arrangement between the show’s makers and the circle makers would be private and possibly subject to non-disclosure agreements, though we did see one of the makers being chauffeured around Knightsbridge, their septum having collapsed to leave them with one huge nostril. Nothing that can’t be sorted at Harley Street.

Finally, why is the Prof suggesting the circle underneath Hackpen Hill is part of a ‘fraud’? Given that we know it has been commissioned, it hardly seems if there has been any deception involved.

Of course, it was inevitable that the usual suspects from the south-western backwaters would chip in, crying on Facebook because they were gutted to have missed out on a job.

No, we’re not discussing Robin Knight’s original post (reproduced below), where he’s actually talking sense for once, but the reply by the one and only Dene Hine, weeping onto his croissant. He sobs:

Amazing that team mystery are actually destroying their own narrative. Well done peeps. 10 years late but doesn’t bode well for the lies.

It would be great if Hine possessed the ability to hold his tongue before spouting such nonsense.

If ‘Team Mystery’ are the one and the same circle makers that we think Hinestein is referring to, then there really is no narrative coming from their camp. They do not say humans cannot make crop circles. They do not say crop circles are made by aliens, flying saucers, goblins, elves or anything remotely paranormal. They certainly do not say Dene Hine can make crop circles, because it is extremely obvious that he cannot.

It isn’t the onions making him sob…

The Croppie appreciates that perspectives employing more than a single 1 or 0 can be extremely difficult for self-important yet self-unaware people to understand.

Clearly, the only narrative on display here is the one that is rattling around inside Hine’s skull.

We imagine Team Mystery had a great night out (and will continue to have more of them) with the riches they may have earned from the job. This would be, after all, a major media company paying out and not a barber shop operating as a front for a drug dealing operation.

When all is said and done, Dene ‘Support Act’ Hine just needs to forget about everyone else and address his lengthy in-field losing streak. Vapid is as vapid does.

It goes without saying that not everyone would be buying the talk of commissions. Crop Circle Truther (read Paul Jacobs) simply wasn’t buying it within his cultish ‘core group’:

Yes, the Weir Farm crop circle is 100% genuine and Monique Klinkenbergh is part of a giant conspiracy to dupe the public. That circle has to be paranormal because there’s no footage of it having been publicly made.

We hate to disappoint you Paul, but we understand there IS footage of the circle being made. It is currently being pieced together at a studio somewhere in Buckinghamshire, using a massive green screen and will be released to the world in fifty years.