Croppie Gossip: Robin Rat Loses His Bet

Today’s crop circle viewers are a funny lot. They complain when there are no crop circles and often complain when there are, without any understanding of why things aren’t like they used to be in the fields.

Take the circle that recently appeared, partly in poppies, on the side of Etchilhampton Hill. To quote one observer in Facebook’s most subnormal group, ‘is there a competition this year to make the most ugly formation possible?’

One reply came from Team Ten Watt wannabe and nobody Robin Knight, christening the circle ‘Button moon’, before going on to suggest the quote wouldn’t make The Croppie.

We’re not sure why Robin thought that. We don’t know for sure who made ‘Button moon’ but we can guess. However, blinded by his own biases, naivety, fawndom and impotence, Robin can’t see the wood for the trees and wrongly thinks he knows who was responsible.

Yes, we think the crop circle on Etchilhampton Hill isn’t the most exciting, though it has echoes of pre-1992 circles, which we like. However, the crop in which the poppies are located isn’t the best. We imagine it would be very hard for whoever made the circle to do much better in the circumstances. (Of course, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask why they bothered; a question we share.)

What’s more, it is easy for Robin to criticise, but even if he had any idea what he’s on about he would never be seen as anything more than a joke. Why? We remember the time he approached circle makers (the same makers who repeatedly make Robin’s Ten Watt brethren their bitches), in person, and begged them to take him out in a field with them. They refused, bemused at his audacity and reminded him that sewer rats should stick to pipes.

We also remember, last year, when Robin was sweating with joy over the two non-circular communion wafers made by his mates on the side of a hill. Hmmmm.