Croppie Gossip: What Did We Say About The Biggest Dick?

Rather oddly, the [Un]Official Crop Circles UK Group on Facebook has fallen silent today. The usual suspects are nowhere to be seen as they hide in the hills, having chosen to piss off one particularly large farming estate in Cerne Abbas, Dorset, with a large, wonky spider hoax. Given how loud their mouths usually are, it’s amusing how they’ve soiled their underwear and lost their voices after Dorset Police appealed for information on the hoax. 

Far be it from us to condone anyone who snitches, but we have been informed by a number of individuals completely independent of this website that the ‘law of f*** that guy’ has come into play. 

In the meantime, and to be ever the contrarian to the evidence on the table in front of him, Mr Paul Jacobs — the ‘crop circle truther’ no less — has stepped up to declare the formation genuine and to share some conspiratorial nonsense about the Crop Circle Connector:

Paul, Mark Fussell of the Crop Circle Connector has not lost his faculties or become part of a debunking campaign. Neither is he being leaned on by the government. He’s just sick, like us, of Team Ten Watt running their mouths and making life difficult for everyone on the circles scene. But you can’t see the wood for the trees. 

That you seem to think this circle, despite a glaring error in its construction (look at the ‘triangles’ on its back), displays ‘first-time perfect geometry’ really does make us wonder if you actually believe what you’re coming out with.

We will just leave this hanging there for you, Paul, not that we expect you to do anything other than bury your head in the sand:

No, this isn’t a Photoshop job, Paul. Here’s a shovel for you to dig a hole in which you can fit your head, put your fingers in your ears and start humming.