Date Reported: 1 July 2024
Location: Stonehenge Visitors Centre, Winterbourne Stoke Down, nr Amesbury, Wiltshire

Photograph by Kris Malford

Sometimes you have to despair at the crop circle world and the sheer arrogance and ineptitude of some who consider themselves to be of importance within it. They view the average croppie with disdain. The second crop circle of the domestic season, one at Winterbourne Stoke Down that we will confidently call out as a hoax, is as much of a shit show as anything we have observed in recent times.

Regular readers of The Croppie will know that we are regularly sent screenshots of events occurring within the ‘[Un]Official Crop Circles UK Group’ (CCUK) on Facebook. And within the past week a number of strands began to entwine, leading to this rather small, uninspired, scrappy circle in a field of rye. They involve a cast of four, no, five people, all but one of which have been mentioned here before:

On 23 June, Fareham based croppie Dawn Tottle shared details of her flight that took her from Popham, near Basingstoke, to Alton Barnes. She also spoke of her forthcoming flight over ‘Amesbury Stone Circle’ (presumably Avebury) and Stonehenge.

Who should subsequently join in the discussion? The self-proclaimed ‘professional crop circle maker’ Dan Davies, the one and the same individual we’ve featured before for his crude work and the rape threats he has made against one female croppie. This would not be the first recent discussion between him and Tottle. 

‘Try Dorset soon 😉,’ suggested Davies before pleasantries were exchanged and a croppie called Billy Breen opined Sunday would be a good day to fly due to many of 2023’s circles having apparently been created on a Saturday night. Hold this in mind.

Enter Enzo Brabazon. Oh no, not this tiresome attention seeker? Yes, and he’s had quite a week. Before announcing to the world he was on his way out with a brain tumour (which he wasn’t and isn’t), Brabazon declared had been trying to influence his ‘orbs’ into making certain designs. One was a series of ‘thunderbolts’, radially emitted from a central point, though he stated ‘a simpler version’ would be more likely. A second design was one put forward by none other than his ‘friend’ Dan Davies.

Following the arrival of the circle, Brabazon quickly claimed it as a version of the ‘thunderbolts’ design. We see why. One does seem to be a nod at the other. Odd that.

Now, let’s jump back a step to how the circle was apparently found. On the morning of Sunday 30 June, the CCUK Facebook group shared self-droned footage of Bristolian Mark ‘Billy’ Breen inside a new crop circle opposite the Stonehenge Visitors Centre. The weather was wet and cloudy. 

We pressed the hapless Breen as to how he just happened to be in the right place at the right time, at first light, to locate a crop circle. Apparently, he likes filming sunrises and sunsets, though for some reason he rarely seems to share them on social media. ‘I went to get a sunrise from Stonehenge’, he explained. Yes, but the Stonehenge Visitors Centre is a mile from Stonehenge. 

Anyone with half a brain knows that to get a sunrise shot of Stonehenge you’re going to base yourself much closer to the stones, almost certainly on a byway adjoining the A303. But not Mark Breen. He must think we are stupid.

Anyone with half a brain knows that to get a sunrise shot of Stonehenge you’re going to visit on a clear morning, not a morning forecast to be gloomy and wet at first. But not Mark Breen. Who is he kidding? Not us. We see through the ridiculously transparent idiocy.

Not that any of this matters, as Breen then stated the crop circle is visible from the road.

Nick Bull went to check it out and could see no circle from the roadside, but plenty of hedge. Our own photographic contributor Kris Malford confirmed the same.

The Croppie will not hold back. Mark Breen is a liar and a dismal one at that. He was able to photograph the circle for one of two reasons.

The first possibility is that he was involved in the creation of the crop circle and stuck around to get the first images. We doubt this, though. The second is that he received a tip-off from the maker, almost certainly in advance. And who is Breen on good, chatty terms with in CCUK? Dan Davies.

Breen seemed so happy to get the first photographs, just as we have seen from others who got there before the Crop Circle Connector, that he has allowed himself to be thrown under the bus, partly through his own naivety. It isn’t the likely circle maker — Davies — who is having questions thrown at him; it’s Breen himself. That Breen is spewing nonsensical answers to some uncomfortable questions shows he hasn’t thought things through. Next, will we see him trying to capture a midday, snowstorm photo of the Avebury Stone Circle whilst sitting in his car at Silbury Hill under a full moon at 3am? We could be far more scathing, but there’s no point. Mark Breen is certainly not the sharpest knife on the rack and he has now established himself as Britain’s most pitiable psychic drone pilot.

To conclude, it’s pretty obvious that Davies was almost certainly behind this sham. He claims to have been at an illegal rave on the night the circle appeared, a regular excuse of his that is extremely tough to disprove. He can’t say where he was precisely because he’d get in trouble. Yeah yeah. We don’t fall for it though, he was up at 6am on the day of the circle’s discovery asking for its location — awake a full twelve hours before normal. He’s the common thread that links an impending flight above Stonehenge by his circle seeking friend Dawn Tottle and a crop circle prediction game by another friend, Enzo Brabazon.And who should the outrageously lucky photographer be? You know, the one who was really lost and saw the circle from the road as the hedges miraculously receded and regrew? Another friend of Davies: Mark ‘Billy Bullshitter’ Breen.

As if this couldn’t be any more of an insider job, who should pop up shortly after to post on the wall of a recently passed crop circle maker, insinuating the messy formation was some kind of tribute. Well, see for yourself, and just bear in mind that they are Davies’s regular circle making partner…

The whole thing stinks. And kids, the arm closest to the barrow is shorter than the other four.

Update, 2 July 2024:

Some other things to bring to attention:

• Farmer Matthew Turner has requested that members of the public refrain from entering his field of rye, yet the administrators of CCUK have repeatedly deleted comments to this effect from Nick Bull. Why have they chosen to do so? Because the group is run by the poster of the comment immediately above, someone who would want the public to visit what is likely to be his shoddy work?
• Perhaps we should also ask where Tottle was on the night of the circle’s creation. In June she posted she had joined a circle making team with ‘Dan’. This comment was subsequently deleted but an alternative was left in its place:

Yes, it keeps getting worse. If you can bear it, we have some photos from the site…

Update, 4 July 2024:

Screenshots have emerged in which Billy Breen tells one of the likely circle makers that he will search for ‘nice ready fields’ for them. This was posted less than 24 hours before the hoaxed formation appeared.

Read more by clicking here.