Hold the front page! Circle Chasers contributor Josh Kerson claims to have found an extraterrestrial turd close to a crop circle at East Kennett during the summer of 2017. In one of the most matter-of-fact, hilariously weird posts The Croppie has seen in a long time, Kerson says ‘I flew and lost a tiny drone, the wind took it away to another field … It started to rain harder, so I went into the woods a little bit, and then, I found some alien scat. Seems the aliens that made this one [crop circle], got out, and took a first hand look from the same vantage point, on the edge of the field, protected from a [downpour] by the tall trees.’

It happened to me! I found some alien poo!

It’s maybe quite normal for our alien visitors to make crop circles, stop, admire their work and shit under trees in the rain. (Something similar is said to have been found at Barbury Castle earlier in 2020.) Kerson’s photographs of the supposed turd look more like slime mould and don’t feature any baby wipes or sheets of toilet roll.

The Croppie eagerly awaits the posthumous publication of ‘Michael Glickman on shit’.