Croppie Gossip: Just Another Ten Watt Hoax

Here’s another ‘artwork’ the morons of Team Ten Watt have dropped into the fields of southern England. This time it’s two small extremely small circles in neighbouring fields of overripe, thin barley and what may be wheat (we can’t tell from the images we’ve seen). The latter penny has a basket weave. Surprise, surprise, it’s located on a hilltop near Littleton in Somerset … just off Dene Hine’s daily route to work.

According to the blurb of the anonymous report over on the remedial group on Facebook, this drab pair of circles are ‘old school and small’, located at somewhere called Dunno, Dunno. (Yes, the site was undisclosed until Nick Bull of the Crop Circle Connector worked out the location from Google Maps and his knowledge of the local area.) Such illiteracy stinks of planker Deiniol ‘Dan’ Davies, a Neanderthal of such staggeringly low intelligence he makes your average Cro-Magnon seem gifted.

Nonetheless, despite having declared a slightly more complicated pictogram from 2023 as ‘Meh. Uninspiring. Unimaginative. Unoriginal … spiritless, anaemic,’ Ten Watt’s ridiculous pet camel, Hine groupie and wannabe agent, Hamish Jacobs, was close to needing the bathroom:

Is it my imagination, or is that two different crops? Barley and wheat next to each other? Very nice! Might be wrong, but I don’t recall it having been done like that before, side by side. Originality wins every time. And a very nice weave, too! Well done, anonymous aliens.

If originality wins every time, the combination of simple circles, a weave and a long-done-before take on using adjacent fields means this pair of saucers finishes at the back of the pack. We’ve been here many times before.

Despite the weave being nothing out of the ordinary, ‘group expert’ Stuart Anthony spoke up, using his precisely nil experience of circle making to comment, ‘Nice weaving. Must have taken some time’.

Yes, somewhere around five minutes to lay down crossing lines of plants using a stomper.

Then who should pop up to reply, none other than ‘Cropsy’, the self-given name used by aforementioned simpleton Deiniol ‘Dan’ Davies:

‘Guessing Hannah the spanner had a busy night,’ he guffawed.

No, Dan or whichever idiot is using the Cropsy name. That lady had nothing to do with this piece of shit. Yet again it’s you attempting to divert attention from yourself by placing the blame on other people. This is the third time we’ve seen this tactic on display over the past two years. Nobody fell for it then and nobody will fall for it now.

You really have to wonder just how much lower the intelligentsia of Team Ten Watt can sink. Just the other day their associate ‘Citizen D’, a retired circle maker, was telling a podcast that the basket weave effect in crop circles is made ‘by hand’, in exactly the same way traction engines are able to fly.

Is this really where we have come? Team Ten Watt spending twenty minutes in a field and sharing the results as if they’re something special? For anyone to do anything other laugh at the players involved and their dismal effort reveals how desperate the public has become. 

This last week has left us feeling rather depressed with the whole scene, to be perfectly honest. No, we will go further and say we are embarrassed. The current state of things represents what happens when the real circle makers have decided most of their time is best spent away from the fields. We’re left with chimpanzees who believe they can take over the abandoned zoo, and because nobody else is offering anything they can have the run of the place. Years of history and knowledge come tumbling down to be replaced by entry level mark making. Not that we blame the real deal: why would they want to get out when their work will be treated by various outlets no differently to hoaxes? At least the Crop Circle Connector have had the balls to stand up to Team Ten Watt this year and consign their rubbish to the ‘rumours’ page. It’s a shame other people still haven’t picked their spines up out of the lavatory, although money is more important to them than principle.