Some secrets are so badly kept you have to wonder why anybody bothers trying to keep them. For example, Israel neither confirms or denies it has nuclear weapons, when even the dimmest soul knows where they keep the damn things. In the crop circle world, certain websites refuse to comment as to whether they’ve received tip-offs from makers. Of course, we all know the answer to that. And then there’s the line that says crop circle hoaxer Dene Hine retired from covert circle making in 2018. How we all laughed when we heard that one. He wasn’t kidding anyone except the most naive croppie and, today, it seems our cynicism was well justified.

What do we mean? Well, the following little discussion occurred on 18 November 2024 on the hilariously unofficial ‘Official Crop Circles UK’ silage pit on Facebook. It refers to the manner in which the Alexanders have somehow managed to piece together a calendar from the wreckage of arguably the worst crop circle season on record:

We’re particularly interested in Hine’s comment:

One is the same circle 3 months in a row. The Stonehenge one he [Steve Alexander] probably knows I done. 2 months. Dan’s circle [at Badbury Rings] he knows who done. Desperate times.

There we have it, a clear admission that Dene Hine is not retired and he committed criminal damage. Just as we thought when it appeared, Hine was responsible for the awful, misaligned, deformed five pointed star in a field of rye opposite the Stonehenge Visitors Centre. You surely possess no shame to admit to this pap?

Stonehenge Visitors Centre hoax, 2024. Photograph by Kris Malford

Furthermore, Hine’s words are an admission that his fellow Team Nine-Watt primate Dan Davies was behind the equally wonky mess at Badbury Rings — exactly as we said at the time. Hilariously, Davies and fellow slow-thinker Frank Smithland even attempted to pass off the Badbury hoax as the work of other circle makers after it became public knowledge, fearing the police were onto them. The useless fools can’t even keep their story straight in-house.

We understand that the screenshots of Hine’s comments have found their way to two farms. One in Wiltshire, the other in Dorset through a third party. Nothing to do with us, but it seems the Team Nine-Watt crew aren’t as popular as they would like to believe. 

We don’t have time to go there at present, but accepting Hine’s confession leads us to ask one simple question: where does this circle fit into Hine’s portfolio and the overall trend it has followed? At some point in the not too distant future we really should talk about Ansty.