Although the 2024 season has been disappointingly light on crop circles, it has also been beautifully light on the contributions from Italian land artist and general bore Francesco Grassi. We wonder what he gets up to in his own mind, as his constant, tiresome obsessing over hidden codes seems to have garbled his English.

Please let us know if you have any idea what Grassi is on about or what his point is.

The bottom line is this: Nobody stole Davies’ design because they have standards. Davies made the hoax at Badbury Rings, fouled it up and jumped behind the sofa he heard the police had been notified. Read more about it here. We’ve also heard that a human garden roller was the call handler in this one, demanding that the drone pilot of choice was at the right location at the right time. We hope you didn’t have your name on the pizza box that was found in the field, Frankie. 

Whilst Deiniol Davies doesn’t have the guts to own his own mess at Badbury Rings, an unsatisfied ego means he has finally ‘fessed up to the even wonkier set of five poodle legs at Stonehenge Visitors Centre from earlier this year. And don’t we remember what a shite show that was. 

Of course, Count Dimula and his defenders will state this isn’t a confession. But we’re not daft. Why would Davies share the work of anyone else? He never has done and never will. He’s driven by ego, and through the years he’s routinely insulted the work of every other circle maker whilst failing to realise he’s not even fit to lick the soles of their muddy boots.

Still sieving through the bottle cap that serves as the gene pool of Team Ten Watt, we come to a rumour regarding someone who has been mentioned in the same breath as the Stonehenge Visitors Centre circus. She’s Queenie, the mouthy one who suddenly became a mute on Facebook circles groups once we’d rumbled what she’d been up to.

Word has it that this female was outraged by the appearance of a tour guide in one particular ‘crop circle’ and began to berate them for profiting from the phenomenon. Queenie is alleged to have claimed she was a circle maker, though if she’s not full of nonsense (a) we would say she’s a one-time hoaxer rather than a circle maker, and (b) she’s repeating the company line from her bean-brained heroes. 

Let’s make something very clear: when anyone illegally makes a crop circle, they have produced something that others can document and, with the farmer’s permission, visit. Some tourists may choose to pay someone to drive them around to visit crop circles. They may even want that driver to share their knowledge and experiences of the circles. We don’t seen any issue whatsoever with this. Good for the tour guide. In fact, we know that circle makers have no issue at all with anyone making money from their anonymously produced creations. They recognise that once they have walked away from the field they have no ownership of that piece. As such, photographers, tour guides, merchandisers, conference organisers, film makers and everyone else is free to exploit that crop circle for monetary gain. Even you. If you can’t understand that, then get out of the fields.

Of course Queenie, if this is wrong then feel free to get in touch with us. However, we expect you’ll be sat on your hands for the next month to maintain your low profile.