Croppie Gossip: I Made This, I Made This, I Made This, I Made This — Recurring

Readers of the Official Crop Circles UK group on Facebook must be wondering what’s going on. Despite having previously outed the page administrator (whom we won’t name) as a crop circle maker who apparently took his young son into the fields as a helper, convicted criminal Dene Hine has turned the group into an amusing trainwreck with his deluded, boastful and self-aggrandizing nonsense.

Stop me if you’ve seen this one 700 times before…

Over the past few weeks, readers of OCCUK have been transfixed by the world’s self-proclaimed ‘best ever circle maker’ endlessly plugging his Only Fans account and posting the same handful of images on a daily basis. It’s as if he’s saying ‘You will listen to me and you will take me seriously. You will like me. You will boost my ego.’

Wonder how many subscribers he’s got? What’s on the content? What’s the URL?

To go along with the same photos of the same crop circles at places as diverse as Ansty, Sixpenny Handley, Ansty, Sixpenny Handley, Ansty and Sixpenny Handley, Hine has been posting his commentaries on all the in-the-field events his alcohol addled brain can remember. He bangs on about the evils of ‘woo-woo’ and then tells his dwindling readership about the ‘visitations’ he’s received from paranormal forces. Then he goes on to post more photos of Sixpenny Handley, Ansty, Sixpenny Handley etc. and the cycle begins again.

What’s not to love about this response to Hine?

It’s not an endless loop though. Well, not quite. To provide some diversity we’ve seen Hine throw plenty of derogatory comments at those who rightly think he’s a joke or won’t believe his tales. We’ve also had photos of some ‘poor circles’ Hine was involved in with rookie circle makers more than a decade ago. How he ranted. Amidst the tear-shedding, Hine weirdly admitted to having wilfully ‘trashed’ a farmer’s crops because he had been left alone in the field. So much for the whiter-than-white legend of the fields.

Whilst we await Hine’s newest tale of woe (probably another rehash involving supposedly ‘undercover journalists’ who were anything but undercover — one of which Hine willingly worked with for more than a year), we can content ourselves with watching Avalon Plastics’ finest kitchen hand complain about photographers ‘stealing his work’ before he then posts their images. We can also seek out the history lesson Hine gave us on the Tully saucer nests. Such is the expert, he couldn’t spell the name of the location correctly, got the decade wrong and didn’t know the difference between Doug Bower and Dave Chorley. Embarrassing.

Just as it seemed Hine couldn’t get any dumber, a comment appeared on OCCUK from the Hine Sight Creations account, stating ‘Dene is a valued contributor to the crop circle scene.’ Fair enough, until you realise that Hine Sight Creations is an account run by Dene himself. Seriously, if you’re going to big yourself up, at least don’t do it from an account which everyone knows you run. Will Dene Hine On Only Fans be the next to, umm, blow his trumpet? How about the Dene Hine Official Fan Club?

Hi Dene!

Well, how about the Clandestine Esoteric Mysterious Universe page? That’s Dene Hine’s too. Well … bang on cue it happened!

Oh look, it’s Hine’s Clandestine Esoteric Mysterious Universe page bigging Hinestein up! What kind of megalomaniac must you have to be do do this?

Through all of this insanity, Dene doesn’t seem to realise that much of the OCCUK readership think he’s a joke. They’re not laughing with him, they’re laughing at him. It’s as if the owner of OCCUK has deliberately manufactured drama, knowing that Hine will become the subject of some very amusing exchanges.

He works in the staff canteen at Avalon Plastics in Glastonbury.

As we’re about to enter March, The Croppie is intrigued at what is going to happen before the season starts. There’s going to be boasting, bitching and, of course, plenty of beer being spilled on a Yeovil housing estate. Expect names to be dropped, accusations to be made and an endless reposting of images from Ansty, Sixpenny Handley, Ansty, Sixpenny Handley, Ansty and, maybe, just maybe, Sixpenny Handley.